In times like these one must ask oneself: "Who deserves a tribute?" The answer has evaded many of our great leaders and senior officials. However, after months of introspective contemplation and the process of elimination, I have identified the one essential element of the universe left un-tributed - the self tribute having been done months ago (see Tribute to Beautiful but not till you finish reading this) - and that essential element is walking birds.

Although previously thought to be no more than ancient myth, recent publications have produced hard hitting facts proving beyond a reasonable doubt that the evidence of the ability of birds to walk is stronger than say, the misfitting of an arthritic man's glove. Classic examples of these publications include best selling author Herbert George Wells' little known gem "The War of the Worlds" as well as the animated adventure series "Duck Tails". Both publications were popularized when translated to video in which main characters were generally played by quacks.

Scientists, different kinds of scientists and Scientologists alike agree that recent publications hold compelling evidence of our delicious 2 legged friends' ability to strut. This high resolution video was recently uncovered may hold the truth about these flying felines(some detail may be lost by those not using HD monitors with cat-like response times):

For more exciting updates regarding the "development" of this hot story please click here after you are done reading my post.
K, this blog entry is getting longer than I originally planned so lets get right to the point. I found some bird footprints. Some of you may have already guessed that they are the eerily large ones in the picture at teh top of this post. You people would be wrong... if I was lying which i am not; so that makes you correct and a winner in your own hearts and minds. So I now have this evidence of birds walking on the snow of my mom's driveway. There were two of them and they were pretty big. They came from the back and walked up the driveway. They turned left to the neighbor's and went up to the front door. There they probably realized that they couldn't break through the door impenetrable handle technology without trained human hands, then turned back towards the driveway and out onto the streets. Whether they were responsible for the Johnson's sudden foreclosure or it was his crippling gambling addiction will remain a mystery for now. But one thing has become devastatingly clear: and this is that the theme song for Duck Tales animated adventure is a national treasure and should be guarded at all cost to human kind.



In all fairness I don't know what left those tracks in the snow on that fateful day, but I do know that I won't be going into the backyard EVER without my trusty Amazonian machete and at LEAST 3 cans of spinach.

Ottawa December 26th 2009: Yesterday night (Christmas), my mom's neighbor's fire alarm was going off. The house was filled with smoke and 911 was called. Luckily it was just a ton of smoke from a smoldering fire in the fireplace. Nobody was home and there was no real damage. Lots of firetrucks though, so that was pretty cool. Another Festivus Miracle! Perhaps later we can do the "The Feats of Strength" or "The Airing Of Grievances".

OK sports fans, It's Xmas in less than 2 hours so I have to make this one short. Here are some pictures of the family Christmas tree with a brief explanation:
First off, here is what the tree looks like. This year for the first time in Mike History I somehow assumed the authority of what the tree's theme would be and had veto over what could be on the tree and what would not. Those who know me would not be surprised to learn that sentiment holds less than average value to me when compared to most. So I didn't care whose dying wish it was that this glass figurine be as our tree's angel: it didn't meet my colour scheme criteria, so it's out! My scheme was basically Red and silver only. I streached it to include gold and green as well. Why did everyone allow me this dictatorship? I could only think of two reasons. 1) I spoke with unwavering authority and confidence. 2) Everyone knew from previous experience that there was always the underlying threat that I could begin projectile launching decorations at the tree at the drop of a candy cane. Typically this practice of mine (and my accomplice sister), could suck the joy of of any tree decorating ceremony faster than Dracula could drain a hemophiliac on Aspirin. Anyway the tree passed inspection and here is what it looked like:

Another thing to note is that when it comes to ruining Xmas tree decorating I am somewhat of a quadrupal threat. Aside from throwing decorations into the tree, I also hide small pieces of laundry & Kleenex brand tissues in people's trees. This practice is my Hallmark calling card so that people know who ruined their holiday season. I have another trick where I take translucent Xmas bulbs and place them over the Xmas light bulbs. This is subttle but awesome. My last feat of strength is that I rebuild Crystal Palace every year in the depths of my own tree. Crystal Palace is a place that (I like to believe) a super villain would feel at home carrying out his or her earth-conquering duties in a stylish and relaxed setting. This year's was more discreet than most. Plot away Dr. Quail! Plot away!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a Merry Christmas.

I don't have much to say about this, but here is a time lapse video of the assembling of the rink at Fenway Park where the NHL's Winter Classic will take place in the new year. The Boston Bruins and Philadelphia Flyers will face off in the Winter Classic NHL hockey game on Jan. 1, 2010. If your fear of time lapse videos is not crippling then I highly recommend that you watch.

Today we are all going to celebrate one of the great "Wonders of My Three Years of German Class" in high school at École secondaire publique De La Salle. Although the wonders of this 3 year journey are many and densely spaced, this tongue-twister/song/poem has stuck with me for some time, and today I found the many missing verses of it that I never cared for. I share them with you all on this day.

The song is called "Ob er aber über Oberammergau" and pays tribute to Oberammergau which is a municipality in the district of Garmisch-Partenkirchen, in Bavaria, Germany. At least that's what it said on Wikipedia. Also featured in the song, is Oberammergau neighbouring town of Unterammergau.

Ob er aber über Oberammergau

Heut kommt der Hans zu mir,
Freut sich die Lies'
Ob er aber über Oberammergau,
Oder aber über Unterammergau.
Oder aber überhaupt net kommt,
Des ist net g'wiss.

Heut geht die Lies' mit mir
Zum Schützenfest.
Ob sie aber über Oberammergau,
Oder aber über Unterammergau
Oder aber überhaupt net geht,
Steht noch net fest.

Wenn die Uhr zwölfe schlagt
Geh'n wir nach Haus.
Ob wir aber über Oberammergau,
Oder aber über Unterammergau
Oder aber überhaupt net geh'n
Ist noch net 'raus.

Hans ißt den Schweizerkäs
Mit dem Gebiß.
Ob er'n aber über'n Oberkiefer kaut,
Oder aber über'n Unterkiefer kaut,
Oder aber überhaupt nicht kaut,
Ist nicht gewiß.

That was more than a mouthful and should never be preformed in front of a live studio audience, unlike the Cosby Show. I found this cautionary video on YouTube on how not to sing the song. This guy seems German and seems to be at some sort of German Beer Fest taking place between the months of September and and November. He's pretty close, but he's waaaaay off.



If you or your friends have come across any fun adventures featuring this poem I'd love for you to share them with somebody interested in them. That is all for now.